Stories last forever. Only if you write them down.

Mr. H, the father of a long time friend, prepared a delicious breakfast for us this morning. It’s a standing tradition that the adult children and grand children are welcome to come on Saturdays. Mr. H. was bringing out photo albums and telling us stories of the past. Some went to the living room after they’d gobbled down their food, while the rest of us stayed to converse with him.

At one point, while Mr. H was talking about something that happened in the 30’s, his son came back into the room. When he heard the discussion he turned around and said, “Call me back in when you get to the 70’s”. Everyone laughed. Apparently Mr. H tells his stories often and repeatedly. My friend and I talked afterwards about how others who’ve lost their parents wish they were still there to repeat the story one…more…time.

In the past couple of years I’ve made it my goal not only to be patient in hearing them but also to write them down for posterity. While my mom is still on this earth, I can talk to her to get every detail of the story written down as she recalls it. She has difficulty with her speech now and tires easily which means it’s slow going. A few things she’s written down for me.

My dad died of a massive heart attack just at the point where I was ready to ask him about his childhood, about his growing up years. I had a list of questions ready. He was a man of few words so he may not have volunteered much information. But I will never know.

Someone on Facebook just shared a post that said: “They say stories last forever. But that’s only if you write them down.”

There are stories that my maternal grandfather told years ago when I was in my teens that I wish I would have written down. I wish I had asked him many more questions. He felt that we would not want to hear the stories of an old fool but I loved his reminiscences. He’s been gone many years now but I still vividly recall the day he sat at the end of the picnic table in the park sharing his memories.

One of my mom’s brothers did a genealogy of both my grandfather and grandmother’s sides of the family going back to the generation that left Russia to come to Canada. These are thick volumes partially because the Mennonites had large families but also because many of those living today sent him a synopsis of themselves to put in print along with a photo. Thus we know the overview. But not the personal stories, the hardships and what was learned, the joys shared.

So,yes,we hear our parents tell their stories over and over. Those of us that are baby boomers are much more tolerant of this these days since we ourselves are becoming more repetitive in our own stories. Let them tell their stories. Encourage them. Write them down. Your children may be young, showing no interest at this point. One day they will want to know.

Stories last forever only if you write them down. I’m working on it! How about you?

3 Types of People in every group, Changing Focus...

Just before I started blogging about my OneWord365, I wrote to a friend to tell her that I’d been somewhat blocked in my writing for awhile. She shared with me that she has been as well. We prayed for each other. I don’t know what is blocking her. I’m speaking here for myself. But it sure helps to share with a friend.

Near the beginning of 2013 I read something that writer Jeff Goins said about not writing for others, to not be concerned about who the reader is. He encouraged us to write for the joy of writing. Rather than encourage me, it had the complete opposite effect. I’d never really stopped to think about who was all reading. I was suddenly a little intimidated.

Next thing I know I’m thinking of all the various and sundry people on my Facebook friends list. There are people from work situations over the years. There are fellow professionals. There are diverse cultural backgrounds. There are those that do not share the same theological views as myself. There are those that are of different faiths and beliefs. There are those that primarily only know me from my speaking and teaching gigs in years past. Some are conservative thinkers. Some more liberal.

When I post a link to Facebook for one of my blogs I have no control over which friends see it. I seem to have the kind of blog where people talk to me about it privately rather than leave comments directly to the blog. And the people who talk to me are usually the ones who are blessed by it or have appreciated something I’ve written. I see by the stats that many come to see the blog but I have little idea what most think of when they read.

I enjoy writing. I want to bless, inspire and entertain those that read. I want to write for the glory of God. I want to be true to myself in writing. When I’m so concerned about what people will think I’m not doing that. I begin to write with specific people in mind. I then write for the approval of man rather than for the pure enjoyment and fulfillment of it. I’m writing for the approval of man rather than God.

In my work, I tell my clients that they will encounter 3 types of people in life: those that like them and their ideas, those that tolerate them and their ideas and those that dislike them and their ideas. We have to expect all three in any group of people whether that is at work, in the family or in a social grouping.

It will be no different in writing. Some who read will love what they read. Others will be indifferent to it. Still others will criticize and dislike it. It’s easy to spend the majority of our time focusing on the latter group, trying to get them to like our ideas, rather than focusing on those that enjoy us and our ideas. In the process we can miss out on building mutually beneficial and encouraging relationships.

A few days ago, I signed up with Jeff Goins to a 500 word a day writing challenge for the month of January. With his daily tips, and the motivation of the others who are part of the challenge, I’m beginning to get back in the habit of writing.

You, my dear reader, may dislike what I write, you may be indifferent to it, or you may appreciate my writing. I invite you to read regardless. I also invite constructive criticism of anything that I write. I don't know why I let Jeff's comment of last year impact me the way I did but in 2014 my goal is to get back to writing from the heart regardless of who will be reading.

Lilac bushes and Life...

Do you ever have writing 'dry spells'? Seems that has been the case with me as of late. I've had a number of unplanned, unexpected changes in my life over the past few years and have been finding that the words for the written page are not flowing the way they usually do.

I realized this week that my potted lilac bush is much like me. Once again I marvel at the symbolism and analogy that God's creation presents us with. Let me explain.

I moved out of this province for a few years. During that time a friend of mine 'housed' my lilac in a sheltered area at the front entrance of her house. It bloomed wonderfully for her during that time. When I returned to this area, I moved it immediately to my place. A plant needs time to adjust and ideally should be moved gradually closer to its new location one step at a time over a period of time to minimize stress. Because of the shock of being moved so suddenly it has not bloomed for me the past two years. This year I am seeing lilac buds!! Seems it has recovered from the shock.

Like my lilac bush, and for reasons that I won't go into at this writing, I was moved very suddenly from one country to another, and before I had recovered, moved from one province to another. No planning ahead, no gradual process. So my body, mind and spirit needed time to adjust, to recover, to be restored, before being ready to 'bloom' again.


Like my resilient lilac bush, I am able to spring back from the trauma and stress that the unexpected changes placed on my being. Like my lilac bush I needed that reparation time. But The Master Gardener with His incomparable expertise was in control through it all! He gently tended to my needs in various ways during my rebuilding time!

And it seems that my plant and I are both ready to bloom again this season!

“I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you,
and that you will work them,
water them with your blood and tears
and your laughter till they bloom,
till you yourself burst into bloom.” Unknown

Life Story: A Matter of Perspective...

Life as Story

Are you a reader? Perhaps a writer? Have you ever thought of your own life as an unfolding story? A story that is part of a greater story?

Dan Allender in his book to be told states that

“…everyone’s life is a story. But most people don’t know how to read their life in a way that reveals their story. They miss the deeper meaning of their life and they have little sense of how God has written their story in order to reveal himself and his own story.”

**unless otherwise noted, all quotes are from this book.


The Plot Begins…

“Both your plot and mine are formed in the circle of relationships into which we were born…including the age or unique situations at the time of our birth.”

So true. Much of my life and the directions it has taken are the result of where I was born and the culture that I was born into. You see I was born into a culture that lived a retro lifestyle if you will…in Mexico. The first 7 years of my life I spoke only a German dialect called Plautdietsch and I have happy memories of holidays and Sundays with extended family.


Avoiding my story…

“If you don’t like your story, then you must not like the Author…”

You may not be aware of this but there are numerous denominations and differing cultures within the Mennonite community…

When I started school in Canada, I quickly became aware of the fact that Mennonites from Mexico were considered the ‘black sheep’ of the Mennonite family. My brothers and I began to experience teasing, mocking and put downs about our backgrounds. Sadly, much of this came from other Mennonites. People made generic assumptions about our cultural background and insinuated various things. This continued into high school.

As soon I graduated high school I moved away from home, and unlike visible minorities who go through this sort of thing, I was able to hide from my background. Not only did I hide it for years, even from myself, but deep down I developed a hatred for this Mexican culture…because it was, after all, their fault that I’d experienced so much ostracizing and ridicule wasn’t it?

Jean Vanier says that fear lies "at the root of all forms of exclusion," and we exclude because we are frightened of "those who are different, those who challenge our authority, our certitudes, and our value system"



Becoming a Co-Author/Editor

“We are not wholly our own, nor are we exclusively the result of what happened to us. “

“We become a coauthor when we know our plot and choose to reengage the tragedies of our lives with new patterns, thereby developing new themes which mark who we are as coauthor of our lives and editors of our future! “

When I went to Seminary in the early 90’s, one of the college students was a cousin’s daughter from Mexico…a sharply dressed, beautiful young lady…breaking my stereotype of who these people were. She was my first direct connection with that culture in years and I ended up being her instructor in a college counseling course. Because of her, I began to pray that God would show me these people through His eyes and that He would help me love them with His love. I went down to Mexico for this young lady’s wedding and a vision for the future began to stir in my heart. It took a number of years, but in 2005 I moved there to work in the Mennonite colonies.

Respect begets Respect

“The manner by which we treat people in our personal and occupational lives reflects or denies the truth of our commitment to human dignity and respect for individual worth.”

quote from Dr. Haim Ginott (1956)

The Genre

“How would you tell the story of your life? As a comedy, a tragedy, an irony, or a transcendent drama.” Selwyn Hughes

“Trust that the Casting Director has given you a role that highlights not only your special talents and individuality but, more importantly, the way in which divine grace is at work in your life.” Selwyn Hughes

Depending on what point in my life you met me, you would have seen an attitude that spoke of my life as tragedy, and at the biggest points of denial, a comedy. A transcendent drama began to be realized when I was about 33 and it continues…I’ve come back from Mexico more at peace…feeling more whole. I have a new appreciation for the beginning of my story…the culture that laid the groundwork for the rest of the story. That part of me is no longer hidden and I have a great love and compassion for the people…I feel so privileged to have had a small part in their story…and hope to have again in the future.

Divine grace…I would not know God in the way that I do had I not gone through the things that I did in my life…and I would not have been able to touch the lives of those in Mexico had I not been someone who was trusted because I had ‘history’ with them…Yes, there are many sad stories, some shocking ones, but there are also many redemptive, creative ones.



~The End of the Story~

“The ending of our stories are how we lived them towards an aim, a finish that is worth both living for and dying for.”

“Our stories are meant to be given away to others for their benefit. “

Like any story, we sometimes don’t quite get where the Author is leading us until the very last chapter or page when things suddenly become clear. These past two and a half years my storyline was altered drastically and I still have little idea as to the purpose of these twists nor where the story will take me now.

But, I trust the Author and I know that the ending is a fantastic one! So, I do my part as Co-author in what I choose to do with….and how I react in….these unexpected twists and turns. With anticipation and curiosity as to what the next turn of the page will bring…and, honestly, sometimes holding my breath with a little fear…as one does in a suspenseful story…