It's Part of the Shaping and Re-Shaping.

Maybe I’ve read one too many fairy tales. Or perhaps I’ve seen too many chick flicks.

I’ve always pushed to get to the happy ending, to the sure thing. I dislike waiting for things in my life to resolve themselves. I feel uncomfortable sitting in the messiness of it. 

Sometimes I can make a decision too quickly because I hate sitting in the tension of the unknown.

During my late 20’s I first realized that I did this with men. 

At that time I was reading one of the Venus and Mars books. I presume it must have been John Gray’s book on dating since it was about ‘the stages of dating’.  The author says that because of our discomfort with this, we often jump past this uncertain stage, this getting-to-know-if-you’re-the-right-one-for-me stage. We quickly jump straight to the commitment stage, sometimes even into the living together stage. Then we come face to face with the uncertainty that we tried so hard to avoid but by this point it’s awkward to move backward. 

Yup, that rang true for me! 

Then a few years later, in a writing class, I noticed that I would write about something deep in a powerful way, starting strong, but then I’d rush to a neat and tidy ‘happily ever after’ ending. The instructor kindly challenged me on this. The reality is that many stories aren’t tied up with a neat little bow in the end. Even in my writing, I need to be able to stay in the uncertain stage for as long as it take. But I have to confess that while I’ve matured in this I’ve not overcome it.  I still hate sitting in the messy part. 

I thought about this today as I was realizing that I’ve been doing the exact same thing with an opportunity that’s come my way unexpectedly. As I was speaking with friends this past week I pretty much convinced myself to stay with the tried and true.  

There. 

Done. 

Next…

Thankfully as a Christian I have the prodding of the Holy Spirit and I have some good friends who are giving me feedback so I was not getting internal peace about this decision AT All. 

Once I saw this I took a step back. Now I’m again sitting with the tension. I’m choosing to wait out the process but this time I’m a little more at peace with it. Still not really liking it, but more at peace, knowing that this is what I need to do. 

For awhile now I’ve been seeing the title of a book on this exact topic: ‘The In-Between’ authored by Jeff Goins, a writer whose blog I’ve been following for a couple of years.  

He says: 

“Moments of breakthrough are not where life’s greatest transformation happens; the stuff that God uses to shape us often lies in the in-between. It’s the bus stops and layovers and DMV lines and moments of unintentional pause that force us to become better people.

That’s not to say there aren’t moments of epiphany. There are. It’s just that most of us find ourselves living somewhere in the in-between.

Learning to live in this tension, to be content in these moments of waiting, may be our greatest struggle — and our greatest opportunity to grow. “

Whatever the outcome will be in this situation, I’m being shaped!

(not my photo)

Wow! I thought I had a neat and tidy ending to this writing but I just this moment realized that this ties in to something God has been teaching me and a writing that’s been in process for almost a year. 

THIS! RIGHT NOW!  Is part of the shaping and re-shaping. I’m in the potters hand.

No tidy ending…just continuing to learn…and continuing to surrender my agenda…to Him...and to His agenda.

(not my photo)

3 Types of People in every group, Changing Focus...

Just before I started blogging about my OneWord365, I wrote to a friend to tell her that I’d been somewhat blocked in my writing for awhile. She shared with me that she has been as well. We prayed for each other. I don’t know what is blocking her. I’m speaking here for myself. But it sure helps to share with a friend.

Near the beginning of 2013 I read something that writer Jeff Goins said about not writing for others, to not be concerned about who the reader is. He encouraged us to write for the joy of writing. Rather than encourage me, it had the complete opposite effect. I’d never really stopped to think about who was all reading. I was suddenly a little intimidated.

Next thing I know I’m thinking of all the various and sundry people on my Facebook friends list. There are people from work situations over the years. There are fellow professionals. There are diverse cultural backgrounds. There are those that do not share the same theological views as myself. There are those that are of different faiths and beliefs. There are those that primarily only know me from my speaking and teaching gigs in years past. Some are conservative thinkers. Some more liberal.

When I post a link to Facebook for one of my blogs I have no control over which friends see it. I seem to have the kind of blog where people talk to me about it privately rather than leave comments directly to the blog. And the people who talk to me are usually the ones who are blessed by it or have appreciated something I’ve written. I see by the stats that many come to see the blog but I have little idea what most think of when they read.

I enjoy writing. I want to bless, inspire and entertain those that read. I want to write for the glory of God. I want to be true to myself in writing. When I’m so concerned about what people will think I’m not doing that. I begin to write with specific people in mind. I then write for the approval of man rather than for the pure enjoyment and fulfillment of it. I’m writing for the approval of man rather than God.

In my work, I tell my clients that they will encounter 3 types of people in life: those that like them and their ideas, those that tolerate them and their ideas and those that dislike them and their ideas. We have to expect all three in any group of people whether that is at work, in the family or in a social grouping.

It will be no different in writing. Some who read will love what they read. Others will be indifferent to it. Still others will criticize and dislike it. It’s easy to spend the majority of our time focusing on the latter group, trying to get them to like our ideas, rather than focusing on those that enjoy us and our ideas. In the process we can miss out on building mutually beneficial and encouraging relationships.

A few days ago, I signed up with Jeff Goins to a 500 word a day writing challenge for the month of January. With his daily tips, and the motivation of the others who are part of the challenge, I’m beginning to get back in the habit of writing.

You, my dear reader, may dislike what I write, you may be indifferent to it, or you may appreciate my writing. I invite you to read regardless. I also invite constructive criticism of anything that I write. I don't know why I let Jeff's comment of last year impact me the way I did but in 2014 my goal is to get back to writing from the heart regardless of who will be reading.