JOY: It's not a Pollyanna thing.

My One Word for 2014 is JOY.

One of the first things I think of when I hear the word joy is a chipper childhood song: ‘I’ve got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart! Where? Down in my heart…”

Then I think of conjured-up-gritting-your-teeth smiles that say “I will be happy in the midst of everything”…a kind of forced joy where the insides don’t match the outsides.

I’m not talking about that kind of joy. No, this JOY thing I’m committing to for this year is not a Pollyanna type joy that refuses to acknowledge anything negative.

I’m talking about the ‘joy comes in the morning’ kind of joy that the Psalmist talks about in Psalm 30. It comes in the morning. What’s before the morning? Night. It’s dark out. It’s a struggle to see. Many times we want joy but we don’t want to have to go through the darkness to really find that true joy that comes in doing so. Many times we deny or attempt to rush through that darkness. Or we try to force light before The Light is turned on.

It’s about a Jacob-wrestling-God-through-the-night-for-the-blessing kind of joy.

Ann Voskamp says “...the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is.”

So when I’ve committed to JOY for the year I’m not talking about incessant smiling, I’m not talking about a happy-happy-joy-joy-clapping-the-hands kind of thing.

I’m expecting to do battle. I’m expecting to wrestle with God in a couple of key areas where I still have difficulty seeing Him. I’ve opened the doors for Him to take me to those places.

It’s a process. I’m so far from where I was a few years ago. For that I am truly thankful. But I still have a couple of ace-in-the-hole places that I’ve held on to; that I’ve not released.

God began showing me clearly this past year that I’m in my current situation because He is teaching me total surrender. He’s teaching me to come to a place of true humility…not humiliation, not shame…but humility.

The places where I’m still stuck are partly because of pride. They are also about me wanting control because I don’t fully believe or trust Him to take control in these areas.

I’m seeing that much of it is about surrendering; a letting go of my plan, my agenda and being open to hearing and accepting His.

JOY is what I want in these areas where I still hang on to the illusion of control.

JOY is what I want in those areas where I have given intellectual assent to believing but when push comes to shove I don’t really act as if He is in that place.

My loving heavenly Father has prepared me well to come to this place at this point in time. Over the past year He has shown me just the right Scriptures and books to meditate on. I’ve heard the exact sermons needed to be able to hear His heart for me in all of this.

I don’t know how this year will look. I don’t know how the battle will go. I do know my God. I am so thankful that He is gracious and that it is His kindness that draws me to repentance. (Romans 2:4)

J-O-Y...I can't wait to see what the morning brings!

Discipline: One Word review for 2013

One article I read said to “…look up by asking God for your word and listening. Don’t stress about your word. Receive it from your maker.” In looking back over 2013 I realized that even after getting the word, I didn’t need to stress. My Maker knew exactly how to orchestrate events to bring about the growth I needed in my OneWord365 of DISCIPLINE. Most of it happened in community, being inspired by or initiated by people in my life.

The first I wrote about in a previous blog where a friend’s Facebook post inspired me to download a gratefulness app. What a great discipline that’s been in beginning to retrain the neural networks of my brain. Partway through the year, I began to read and digest Ann VosKamp’s book ‘one thousand gifts’. She says this discipline only comes with practice and that it is a practice of the eyes. The remedy for ingratitude is in the retina. We don’t have to change what we see. Only the way we see. So basically, she’s saying that while my situation may not change, the way I view it will change as I practice being grateful. It’s been fun at times to work at entering all that I’m grateful for into my app. At other times it’s been a struggle to see something to be grateful for in the midst of difficulties. But I love how my mind is beginning to note these things and get excited about remembering to enter it onto my daily list.

Secondly, in March a friend asked me if I would do a Whole30 clean eating time with her. Since being unwell from 2006 to 2008 my body had been letting me know that there were certain foods I could not handle well anymore. While I tried to stay away from those foods, this invitation from my friend was just what I needed to discipline myself in these areas. The mutual support and encouragement helped me stay on course. I chose to stay on the Paleo eating plan even after 30 days because I do so much better on it mentally, emotionally and physically. I see it as a way of life. (Since I do better emotionally on this plan it has also helped me in my gratefulness discipline.) For the past month I’ve gotten a little off plan but have gone back to strict clean eating as of the beginning of 2014!

I’ve also been disciplining myself to go more to God’s Word, the Bible. I’m thankful to be attending a church where the Pastor regularly directs us to it and where Bibles are provided for those that do not have one. If I’m reading a book or a daily devotional it’s easy to skip over the scripture references. I so appreciate good writers but going directly to those biblical references helps me to hear directly from God in the area that the author is writing about.

There are other areas but these are the key ones that have contributed my growth in Discipline this past year.

Now, on to my One Word for 2014...

Becoming Like Him

IN the Jesus Calling Devotional this morning the writer had me turn to I Peter 2: 22-24:
“He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth.”
When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”

Jesus didn't retaliate. He didn't make threats. He didn't blubber to friends about how wrongfully he'd been treated. He didn't take it into His own hands but He gave the responsibility over to God the Father who judges fairly.

As I read this today my mind went to specific places where I've been deeply hurt in the past 20 years. I also thought of the verse that for many years now has been one of my life verses Philippians 3:10: I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,

It's a slow learning process...a lifelong one to my way of thinking...this becoming like Him. I've suffered things at the hands of others who misunderstood, who gossiped, who never checked their perceptions with me. Much of my reaction in this suffering has not been like Christ's was. But I also see how the LORD honors my prayer when I ask Him to continue to teach me, to continue to change my heart in this area. Sometimes it's hard to pray that prayer because I KNOW that He will then set up a situation in which I learn in a deeper way what this life verse means. Sometimes it takes a long time for me to be willing to pray it...

But, even before seeing this verse today, I'd been praying for relational healing during this Daniel Fast...and He has set up a situation...

Too Holy to touch?

A woman that I know recently bought The Message version of the Bible. She’s been growing spiritually and has been excited about practicing the presence of Jesus in all aspects of her life. She wondered this week about the fact that she has difficulty actually opening the Bible and reading in it. In fact, seeing it on her bedside stand intimidated her so she hid it in the drawer. She was sad about this but couldn’t figure out why this was so.

I mentioned to her that I’d written a blog awhile ago about how much my old Bible has become an old friend that I cannot part with because it’s underlinings tell the story of my journey with God. Fear struck into her at the thought of marking the Bible…as though this ‘book’ is too sacred to mark up. This kind of reaction had not even occurred to me when I wrote the post but I can fully understand where it came from for her.

As we spoke further she realized that this belief is related to her upbringing…similar to how she thought in the past that she couldn’t talk to God directly, that she had to go through a priest. Prior to this, she would have said that her religious background played very little of a role in her life but this conversation made her realize that it had in fact impacted her greatly. Her reaction to my revelation about my Bible brought back some memories for her.

As a child she was an altar girl in her church…

The Bible was big…it was gold…it had its own altar. The altar girls washed their hands thoroughly before even going anywhere near it. It got ‘incensed’ and was put in a little window until it was opened by the father. One didn’t just put it on ones lap and flip through it. It needed a shrine.

As she spoke she realized that this is why the sight of her Bible beside her bed intimidates her. This scene plays in the back of her mind when she sees it there. Then she doesn’t feel worthy to go near it, much less to read it on her own. She wonders how she got this far in life without the realization that the Bible is a book that anyone can touch and be near…and read…without the pomp and circumstance. She is intrigued by the realization of this long held belief and is still processing it.

The thought of marking it up still is not something that she can picture herself doing in the near future.

I’ve had the privilege of watching her grow in her personal relationship with God over the past year, and I’ve listened to how much she enjoys recognizing His presence in every detail of her life. So I have no doubt that she will soon hold The Message on her lap and regularly read it for herself since this is her desire. I look forward to hearing about how the Holy Spirit breathes life into the words of this 'book' for her...

Nutcracker

I'm a very visual person so when my Every Day with Jesus (EDWJ) devotional mentions a Paul Tournier nutcracker analogy I see it quite vividly in my imagination. It is interesting to have the author use this analogy in a devotional this close to Christmas when the first thing that comes to mind is Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker Suite which has become an annual favorite.

But Tournier's analogy brings to mind an Anne Geddes type photo with a person laying inside a nutcracker (although in my minds eye it looked more like a person curled up in a Mexican style metal lime press). With that lovely image securely in your mind, let's get back to the analogy in EDWJ.


This devotional is laid out in a way that covers one topic over a 2 month period. In the 2010 November/December issue Selwyn Hughes is covering the topic of "Soaring above the Storm." On this day, the devotional is entitled 'Coming Alongside.' Tournier, it is said, uses the analogy of the nutcracker to point out the fact that adversities and disasters apply a pressure to our lives that breaks through the hard shell of our personal security. The trick to successfully cracking a nut is to apply just enough pressure to break the shell while ensuring that the tender fleshy nut inside remains whole and undamaged. So it is with coming alongside someone, be it a friend, a family member, a patient, a client or a parishioner. As Hughes says, the real task is to be there in a way that keeps life's pressures or circumstances from destroying someone. We are called to encourage each other daily.

For many, the Holiday Season is one of those times. Let's consider ways that we can come alongside others, making it a 'safe zone' for them to come out of their shells knowing that in the midst of the pressures of life we can grow and gain insight into our lives.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore we do not lose heart...For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

2 Corinthians 4:8-19

Yoke's on You!

“My YOKE is EASY and my BURDEN is LIGHT!”

DON'T STOP READING! I know that in our overly busy lives those words of Christ's have become cliche.

Seriously, what comes to your mind when you read them? You may be thinking, "Easy? Nothing in life is easy." Maybe you believe the words of the Bible but you feel that God has given you way too much to handle so you don't have a clue what He expects you to hear when He says that the burden is light.

Many of us are not familiar with what a yoke is so it’s difficult for us to envision what He is saying. A yoke literally is a bar of wood constructed in a way that unites two animals together so that they work side by side in the fields or in drawing loads. A farmer generally binds a more experienced oxen with a younger one. The experienced one pulls the majority of the load while the younger one walks alongside and learns.

With that in mind let’s read the above verse again in the full context of Matthew 11:28-30 because when we are followers of Jesus, we are yoked to Him. :

“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

"COME...LEARN..." He says.

The words of one of my Seminary professors have often redirected my thoughts and actions over the past 16 years. He stated that if we come out of a situation or conversation feeling exhausted and frustrated, we need to ask ourselves if it was our agenda that we were pushing rather than going with the Holy Spirit’s agenda. Wow!!

We can choose to run ahead of Him and get exhausted because the yoke is then chafing like crazy. We can choose to lag behind in fear when we’re being nudged by Him to take things in a particular direction that we are maybe a little hesitant to take. OR we can choose to relax and rest because we know that He is pulling the majority of the load and we are learning from Him as we walk beside Him.

As a follower of Jesus this yoke is on you as well. If you've learned to take on more than your share, it will take a little time to retrain your thinking but consistently choosing to slow down when you realize that you've run ahead will eventually show you that this yoke is one that makes the burden light!! May you find increasing rest as you continue to learn to walk beside Him on a daily basis.

If you are not a follower of Jesus, I encourage you to accept His invitation to come to Him…and find rest.

Rooted in the Rich Soil...

Rivendell, a Christian Retreat Centre on Bowen Island in British Columbia, Canada, was newly opened when I went there for my personal retreat in November 2002 so I had a whole floor to myself. I found Henri Nouwen’s book on the Prodigal Son in a cozy library/sitting room on 'my' floor. Each evening I got logs for the fireplace and settled in front of the fire to meditate on this book along with God's Word.

A reading during Chapel Prayers the first evening was the catalyst for things the LORD wanted to show me this weekend, and so began the writings in my journal:

Tonight during Chapel prayers, the Spiritual Director read Psalms 33:5 and John 12:24”

“The earth is full of the loving kindness of the LORD.” “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone, but if it dies it bears much fruit.”

Notice the connection between those two verses. Generally the thought of falling into the earth and dying brings to mind a cold, dark place but with this connection of God’s ‘loving kindness’ in the earth we get this sense of the richness of the soil embracing, enveloping, nurturing the grain in the darkness…FULL of the loving kindness of the LORD. What an awesome thought!

Suddenly, we get a deep sense of God’s goodness in the darkness, in the pain of dying to self…even being held and guided as we reach our way up... reaching up and out…out of the earth. Fresh growth finally breaks through to be kissed by the light of day…now growing and spreading…bearing fruit. All the while still rooted in that rich soil, needing to be firmly rooted in the earth…surrounded by His loving kindness.

“His loving kindness surrounds the person who trusts in Him.” (Psalm 32:10b) “Let Thy loving kindness, O LORD, be upon us according as we have hoped in Thee.” (Psalm 33:22)

Larry Crabb of New Way Ministries, says,

“Brokenness is realizing that He is all I have,
Hope is realizing that He is all I need,
Joy is realizing that He is all I want.”

As I further meditate on the Scripture verses above in connection with Crabb's quote, I sense that BROKENESS is the process of God’s hand sticking that grain deep…deeper…into the earth. It feels harsh! Uncaring! Cruel! It’s a feeling of being powerless, of being at His mercy. It seems as though He just pushes it into the ground and then leaves this one lone grain of wheat in the darkness and forgets about it. Death comes so slowly, so painfully, there in that black, cold, seemingly God forsaken place.

But HOPE is finally realizing the He has provided all that we need even in that dark place…all the best nutrients in the soil…the appropriate elements for growth…still in the darkness of the earth…but beginning to struggle less…beginning to relax…to trust that God has indeed provided all that is needed for growth…trusting that growth is happening. Rest. Relax. Rely. Even though we are still in the darkness, we are safe, secure and right on schedule…soon we will break through the ground and see the light of day…soon we will bear much fruit…soon…in God’s time.

JOY! Knowing that He is all we want! We come to realize that bearing fruit is a byproduct as we continue to reach for and respond to the Light that is stimulating growth in us!


Nouwen says:

“Celebration belongs to God’s Kingdom. God not only offers forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing, but wants to lift up these gifts as a source of joy for all to witness them.” “There is so much rejection, pain and woundedness among us, but once you choose to claim the joy hidden in the midst of all suffering, life becomes celebration. Joy never denies the sadness but transforms it to a fertile soil for more joy.” “People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it.”

“Make me know Thy ways, O LORD, teach me Thy paths. Lead me in Thy truth and teach me. For Thee I wait all day.” (Psalm 25: 4, 5)

Copyright 2002