Having grown up in a legalistic environment the word “discipline” has been somewhat of a tricky one for me. Intellectually I've grasped the concept. Historically it has been a word which connotes harsh punishment and strict obedience of rules. It’s a word which makes me feel like I am only loved if I do all the right things. It's a place where there is little room for loving, accepting relationship. As one who loves the LORD, and as one whose goal it has been to be pleasing to God, I used to work diligently to do it all perfectly. The consequences of this view of being disciplined was a burnout in my late 30’s.
Needless to say then, I feel slightly ambivalent as I’ve realized that my One Word for 2013 is indeed the word “Discipline”. It feels like a slippery slope back to strict adherence to rules at the expense of relationship and grace. But thankfully I have continued to grow in the grace of God. He has taught me so much about his unconditional love and his acceptance of me. I know my FATHER. So I also feel excited about the prospect of truly internalizing and appropriating this word in the context of his love for me as his daughter. (see: Hebrews 12:5-11)
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