The Fog is Almost gone...

It’s been an interesting first couple of days of the Daniel fast. The key focus of the first three days was withdrawal from sugar/gluten and withdrawal from Facebook. I’ve typically not been consuming much sugar or gluten. But I had fallen off the wagon after being in Ontario in June to visit family. My mother made her famous chocolate pie-by-the-yard, roll kuchen, and other items that I at first resisted and then downed with pleasure. Since then I’d not really climbed back on the wagon, so withdrawals on that score have been much worse this time than when I did the fast previously.

I was surprised to realize how often my mind went to Facebook and how much I missed checking in first thing in the morning as well as at night.

Today, I feel great! A little foggy and tired still from the sugar/gluten withdrawal but good otherwise.

One of my brothers forwarded me a devotional this morning. This section of the devotional in particular struck me: James 1:14 says that sin “lures” and “entices” us into believing it provides life, gives pleasure, or fills needs.

As I said in my earlier post , I don't think that there is anything wrong with Facebook per se but my focus and attitude were no longer right...I was seeing it too much as a 'source of life' rather than going to the true Source and/or connecting with people directly. Yesterday morning I was back on schedule in having my morning time with God as I used to. It had become too much of a habit to quickly check work emails and then scroll on FB for awhile. By that time it was usually too late to do my devotions or when I did it was a quick perusal of the reading for the day and minimal prayer. How good it felt to start the day properly with Him! How I have missed that!

I expect that I will still be on FB when I’m done the 21 day fast (unless I hear clear direction to do otherwise) but I plan to be more disciplined in my viewing habits...and I want to be more disciplined both in my time with God and in making personal contact one on one with people I care about rather than relying so much on the false ‘intimacy’ of FB.

I've also started back at the gym and have done the circuit a few times. I've always walked a lot but had not been doing anything else regularly for awhile. Feels so good.

It’s interesting how the fast and my One Word for 2013, ‘discipline’, are much intertwined.

The fast continues…

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My One Word for 2013: Discipline

Having grown up in a legalistic environment the word “discipline” has been somewhat of a tricky one for me. Intellectually I've grasped the concept. Historically it has been a word which connotes harsh punishment and strict obedience of rules. It’s a word which makes me feel like I am only loved if I do all the right things. It's a place where there is little room for loving, accepting relationship. As one who loves the LORD, and as one whose goal it has been to be pleasing to God, I used to work diligently to do it all perfectly. The consequences of this view of being disciplined was a burnout in my late 30’s.

Needless to say then, I feel slightly ambivalent as I’ve realized that my One Word for 2013 is indeed the word “Discipline”. It feels like a slippery slope back to strict adherence to rules at the expense of relationship and grace. But thankfully I have continued to grow in the grace of God. He has taught me so much about his unconditional love and his acceptance of me. I know my FATHER. So I also feel excited about the prospect of truly internalizing and appropriating this word in the context of his love for me as his daughter. (see: Hebrews 12:5-11)



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