Last night after a lengthy Skype chat, I thought once again about the part in the movie ‘Under the Tuscan Sun’ where Martini reminds Frances that she got exactly what she wished for even though it took her awhile to realize that because it looked different than what she had initially envisioned.
I don’t have the dual income white picket fence kind of family. I'm game for the first part of that, but since I've never been great at being fenced in I'm quite fine with being picket fence-less. I don’t have the 2.5 kids of the average family…I'm not sure how I'd handle a .5 child anyway. I do, however, have two wonderful daughters who have chosen me to be their mom. One has called me her ‘Surrogate Mom’ for going on 20 years now. To the other I’ve become ‘Mother’ within the last few years but she’s been in my heart for going on 7 years.
I don’t know what it is to fall in love with that child when you first lay eyes on him or her from your hospital bed. But I do know the kind of love that would fly anywhere in the world to be there for that daughter when she needs you…and I have. I know the mother heart that aches when they make life choices that go contrary to your beliefs but continues to support them through thick and thin regardless of where their life journey takes them. I get what it is like to feel torn when their life calling takes them too far away for them to come home for a weekly…or even a monthly… visit. I know the joy of hearing them say that they have finally found what makes them happy. I understand how the heart fills with pride when you see them grow emotionally and spiritually to the point where they are teaching you a thing or two as you listen to them make healthy choices. And last but not least, I know how comforting it is to have a daughter check in regularly to see how you are doing when you are not well. I could go on…but you get the picture…
So while I cannot regale you with stories of lengthy labor nor of how I lost my girlish figure as a result, I can tell you that my daughters tug at my heart strings in a way that I’ve never known anything else to do. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.